Attempts at funny dialogues
by Panic1AtTheHere
Summary: Attempts at funny dialects with our favourite group of ninja and their friends. More info inside. Also, shoutout to NovaShifter15. And Dyphen. Yeah. Please don’t hate me if you don’t laugh. I intend on making more if I don’t get crazy back-lash from this. So yeah.
1. Chapter1

**Hi guys! LunaPikazard here, back at you with Ninjago shit that I've tried to write! I'm currently working on a billion and three stories and my very first Sanders Sides one-shot, which will be my first entry into that part of this site, so look out for that if you're part of that fandom too. **

**Anyway, these are some quick funny dialogues I've come up with either on my own, are inspired by things like Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr, etc., or I've come up with by working alongside my bestie Dyphen. I'll credit Dyph or the original post on another site in brackets at the end of each dialogue. Some of these are kinda inspired by How Much Stupidity Can You Take, which is a one-shot collection of rules for the ninja written by NovaShifter15, so I'll credit them at the end as well of any lines inspired by that fanfiction. **

**Anyway, onto these!**

**I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. **

**1- Puns. They need to end. Especially if lives are on the line. **

**(The ninja are about to fight when an earthquake happens. Cole did not cause it.)**

**Cole: **wow, that really _shook _me up.

**Jay: **yeah, that was truly _shocking._

**Zane: **guys, _chill _out, it's passed.

**Kai: **dang, these puns are on _fire!_

**Nya: **_water_\- the heck is going on here?

**Lloyd: **come on guys, save your _energy_!

**Wu: (facepalm)**

***later***

**(Kai and Skylor are in a car in the front. Nya, Jay and Cole are in the back. Lloyd is hiding in the trunk. Sue me.)**

**Skylor: *runs a light***

**Kai**: woah, Skylor, you just ran a red light!

**Skylor: **dude, calm down, it was only _amber!_

**Everyone else: (cowering)**

***later***

**(In a fight with some villain (idk who tbh just make someone up))**

**Villain: **and now for my grand exit before my bomb explodes and kills you all! (**Swings away on rope through ceiling)**

**Jay: **well, that's a _killer _surprise!

**Nya: **_JAY!_

**2- Skybound needs to be kept under wraps better unless the others are meant to find out what happened. **

**(Preparing for Jay and Nya's wedding)**

**Nya: **I really hope this wedding goes better than my last one.

**Jay: **yeah, that last wedding ended in your death. _Of course _this one is gonna be better!

**Everyone else: _wait what?!_**

**3- no pets allowed except the Falcon. **

**Kai: **ohmygod look at the puppy we need it letmehaveit—

**Nya: (dragging Kai away from the dog)**

***later***

**Cole: **guys why is there a husky in the kitchen?

**Zane: **and why have I found fur from a golden retriever in my room?

**Jay: **there's currently a little brown dachshund in my room and I don't know how it got there or what to do now...

**Lloyd: (runs into the living room with a black Labrador chasing him) **_someone help me this dog keeps chasing me!_

**Kai: (walks in holding a cat) **oh so you guys found them.

**Nya: **

**Kai:**

**Nya:**

**Kai:**

**Nya:**

**Kai:**

**Kai: **I swear I can explain...

**4- No more UNO. At all. Especially if Kai is playing. **

**Kai: (trash-talking, probably gives a five-minute speech before laying down each card with a flourish. Gets hit with a plus four and cries in the bathroom for ten minutes. Constantly snarking and glaring at Zane. Always tries to get Zane banned from the game because 'he's a Nindroid!'. All the dramatics, a big tease, very theatrical and _really frickin competitive. _Slaps Jay or Cole at the game's climax. Used to slap Nya but instantly regretted it).**

**Zane: (calm, chill, collected, keeps tabs on the others' cards and makes up strategies as he goes. Gets caught up in Kai's trash-talking and becomes super frickin militant and absolutely terrifying. Analyses all the cards and is always on top of his own hand.)**

**Nya: (gives zero shits, no planning and wins almost every game. Now slaps Kai at game's climax when she actually cares enough. Scrolls through Tumblr or something while throwing her cards down on the pile and laughs as Kai sobs. _Does not care._)**

**Jay: (always gets slapped by Kai, tries not to lose but doesn't mind not winning. Uses _all _the plus fours and switch cards. Tries to play a plus four on a plus four and gets banned for it by Kai.)**

**Lloyd: (does not care, used to try super hard but now just gives up. Wins every game that Nya doesn't. Chokes back tears when hit with a plus four. He and Jay often play alone to improve although they allow the 'plus four on a plus four' rule which makes them both really miserable and mad.)**

**Cole: (hardly cares and often just doesn't play. When he does, also gives no shits and just watches the others play without much regard for when it's his turn. Slaps Kai back.)**

**Wu: (plays like a normal human being and always loses no matter what. Secretly blames the ninja for cheating.)**

**5- _No more references to anything. Not even musicals. _**

**Kai: **I hate musicals.

**Nya: **oh really...?

**Cole: **hey, who bought _Six _boxes of eggs?

**Jay: **I don't know! Maybe it was _Evan Hansen_!

**Kai: **guys please...

**Skylor: **hey Nya, are you okay? You look really _Miserable. _Honesty, you look like you've seen a _Phantom_...

**Kai: **_oh god not you too Skylorplease—_

**Nya: **oh no I'm okay, just thinking how much _School Rocked._

**Kai: **guys I know what you're all doing...

**Skylor: **also, has anyone seen my new _Heathers_? I know I put them somewhere around here and now I can't find them.

**Cole: **hey Zane, what book you reading? It looks like a real _Thriller!_

**Zane:**

**Kai: **_Zanedon'tdoit!_

**Zane: **guys... you all just need to... **(ahem) **_Be More Chill._

**(Kai screams angrily in the distance.)**

**Okay I realise now that this has kinda turned into some kind of bootleg - slash - spin-off of How Much Stupidity Can You Take so I'm very sorry about that _please don't sue me!_**

**But yeah. These were supposed to be funny and I realise I've probs failed miserably at that but _oh well!_**

**I'll see some of you later on in my other stories! I have a brand-new one on the way again. *yay* *pained expression intensifies* I have a lot of shit going on and it's one in the morning and I have to be up at six help. **

**Bye!**

**-LunaPikazard.**


	2. Chapter2

**Hi again! You seemed to enjoy the previous chapter of this, so here's another one!**

**Replies to reviews:**

**Nuppa Nuppa: I'm glad you're enjoying these and your request is granted - here is more. **

**Dyphen: I'm sorry for stealing, I meant to credit but I totally forgot for all of those dialogues and I promise it won't happen again! I will credit you from now on. Also, genius idea for the musicals headcanons, I'm gonna include those soon. And I'm glad you laughed at the fact that Lloyd cries at a plus four in UNO. We all know he does XD**

**Prisma Pup 7: I'm glad you liked the Skybound one lmao. I know that quite a lot of people don't like Skybound or anything to do with it, so I'm glad you liked that one. Also, puppies in the bathtub would _definitely _have been a worthy inclusion, why didn't I think of that lol. **

**I'm glad you're all enjoying this so far. So here's another one! *yay***

**1 - Sunsets. (Tumblr)**

**(I peg this at being between seasons three and four, before Jay leaves the Samurai X cave.)**

**Jay: **wow. Sunsets sure are beautiful, eh Nya?

**Nya: (hums in agreement)**

**Jay: **yeah, this is great. Just the three of us - you, me, and this brick wall you built between us.

**2 - "well I guess we're all going to jail then."**

**Kai: **it's illegal to be better looking than me.

**Nya: **well I guess we're all going to jail then.

**Kai: (offended Kai noises.)**

**3 - chicken breast. **

**Jay: **stressed.

**Cole: **depressed.

**Kai: **blessed.

**Lloyd: **possessed.

**Nya: **obsessed.

**Zane: **impressed.

**Dareth: **chicken breast.

**All ninja: **

**Dareth: **I just wanted to join in.

**4 - tomato is a fruit. **

**Kai: **knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

**Cole: **that was deep...

**Jay: **philosophy is wondering if that means that ketchup is a smoothie.

**Cole: **that was deeper!

**Kai: **common sense is knowing that ketchup is not a damn smoothie, you nASTY—

**5 - a 30% chance. **

**Sensei Wu: (to the ninja) **I have total faith in you.

**Sensei Wu: (to Nya) **there's like a 30% chance they'll all die.

**I hope you all enjoyed these as well. I hope to see you all again soon!**

**If you have any dialogues you'd like me to write, just leave some suggestions in the reviews. I'd love to hear what you guys, gals and non-binary pals want to read dialogues for. Until then, peace out!**

**-LunaPikazard**


	3. Chapter3

**Yes! I am back again with more attempts at funny dialogues! And yes! I am now actually adding credit at the end of each title! Quick shoutouts to Prisma Pup7 and Nuppa Nuppa in the reviews! You two are amazing! Also, glad you're both enjoying this little collection of dialogues that I am _trying to _write. **

**Replies to reviews:**

**Nuppa Nuppa: _I am so sorry but I need to add that in this one! That is just too good... XD_**

**Prisma Pup7: I am glad you're enjoying these little dialogue collections as much as you are. And thank you so much, your review means so much to me. **

**By the way, this collection will have six dialogues to make up for the fact that one in here is kinda stolen from the reviews, Nuppa Nuppa made one that I just can't ignore, its _perfect _and everyone needs to see it! It is number three and is labelled. Anyway, here are the next dialogues! Enjoy!**

**1 - new friends. (Tumblr)**

**Jay: (trying to climb up onto the roof to do an epic flip on the trampoline.)**

**Zane: (trying to stop him.)**

**Cole: (cheering Jay on.)**

**Kai and Nya: (making a bet on whether Jay will hurt himself or not.)**

**Lloyd: **I need new friends...

**2 - Boss Of Us. (Tumblr)**

**Kai: **excuse me, who made Lloyd the leader?

**Zane: **you did.

**Cole: **you said "Lloyd should be the boss—"

**Jay: **then you said "let's vote on it" and it was unanimous.

**Nya: **you then made him a plaque that said "Boss Of Us".

**Zane: **you even put sparkles on it.

**Kai:**

**Kai: **all valid points...

**3 - my fear of ghosts (Nuppa Nuppa in the reviews)**

**Cole: **I've finally gotten over my fear of ghosts!

**Jay: **_that's the spirit!_

**Cole: **oh sHIT _WHERE?!_

**4 - 'cake will never love you back'. (Tumblr)**

**Kai: **Cole thinks he's so smart.

**Kai: **he said that onions were the only food that will make you cry, so I carved 'cake will never love you back' into an apple and threw it at him.

**Kai:**

**Kai: **he's been crying for the past hour.

**5 - 'which door'. (Tumblr)**

**(Kai walks into a room to find Nya whimpering)**

**Kai: **what happened?

**Nya: **don't worry about it.

**Kai: **who did this to you? What did they do?

**Nya: **just drop it Kai, don't make it worse.

**Kai: **Nya, I promise I won't get mad. I just wanna know who did this to you.

**Nya: (sighs) **I stubbed my toe on a do—

**Kai: (pulls chainsaw out of nowhere) **_which door?!_

**Nya: **_First Spinjitzu Master, Kai—_

**I hope you all liked these as much as you have the other ones! Please, if you have any dialogue ideas, PM me or leave them in the reviews! Credit to Nuppa Nuppa for number three. I hardly contained my laughter at that, and it's almost two in the morning. That could have ended _very _badly XD**

**I hope to get some requests from you all! See you all soon!**

**Peace out!**

**-LunaPikazard**


	4. Chapter4

**Hey everyone, I'm back with more dialogues! You all seemed to enjoy the previous ones, so here are some more! Enjoy!**

**1- The one with the news reporter**

**Jay: **Lloyd, have you ever snuck into a news station while they're recording the weather report?

**Lloyd: **what? No. Why?

**Jay: **dude, your gi's green.

**Lloyd: **...and?

**Kai: (catches on) **dude, you could, like, harass the weather reporter, and no one would know what was going on!

**Lloyd: **...

**Lloyd: **_good idea... _

**Zane: **guys, it's 2:13 A.M...

**Cole: **go the fuck to sleep.

**2- The one with the mental breakdown**

**Jay: (to the tune of the Final Countdown) **it's a mental breakdown!

**Lloyd: (off-key kazooing)**

**3- The one with the fire**

**Jay: (listening to the Smartphone Hour from Be More Chill) **Kai set a fire and he burned down the house...

**Cole: **woa-oa-oah **(or whatever that weird noise is that Jenna Rolan makes)**

**Kai: **FOR THE LAST TIME, I DIDN'T MEAN TO SET THAT BUILDING ON FIRE!

**4- The one with the jars**

**Cole: (opens a jar of jam)**

**Jay: (takes jar of jam with a strange look on his face)**

**Later, during Tournament of Elements (S4)**

**Cole: **yeah, that Staff of Elements even took my super strength...

**Jay:** so that's how you do it!

**Cole: **...do what?

**Jay: **open those ridiculous jars...

**5- The one with the mental scarring**

**Jay: **if I take off my leg...

**Jay: **and swing it at your face...

**Jay: **am I hitting you or kicking you?

**Cole: **you'll probably just mentally scar me more than anything...

**BONUS NUMBER SIX!**

**Credit for this one goes to PrismaPup7 in the reviews. **

**Don't worry, I understood the joke, and I die laughing every time...**

**6- The one with Blue by Eiffel 65**

**Jay: (singing) **_I'm blue—_

**Jay: (points at Zane)**

**Zane: **...

**Zane: **I'm white...?

**Jay: (facepalms) **Zane, we've been going over this for foUR HOURS—

**AND ANOTHER ONE! **

**Credit for _this _one goes to Dyphen! Hi Dyph!**

**7- The one with Michael In The Bathroom**

**Cole: **go on, try make me cry!

**Cole: **try anything you want, I won't break!

**Lloyd: (plays Michael In The Bathroom intro)**

**Cole and Lloyd: (look at each other)**

**Michael (aka George Salazar): (singing) **_I am hanging in the bathroom at the biggest party of the fall..._

**Michael: **_I could stay right here or disappear, and nobody'd even notice at all..._

**Cole and Lloyd: (burst into tears)**

**This update has seven dialogues because of the two I got in the reviews and because I only put five in the previous one even though I said I would make six to make up for the one Nuppa Nuppa gave...**

**Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this new update! Also, I'm sorry again for how long it took for these new updates of most of my stories, but I've been coming up with new ideas that I had to pen before I forgot all about them, and I am still up my neck in new story ideas, so I am trying to get about a million and three out at once, which is a nightmare to say the least. I am trying, however, as this is kind of my main priority right now. **

**So I hope you are all enjoying these!**

**If you have any dialogue ideas, questions or feedback, don't be afraid to leave them in the reviews or DM me, since I love reading your reviews and replying to them when I can. I also love to hear from people who like my stories, so if you want to send me a DM about anything, go ahead! I love to hear from you all, contact from people who like my stuff makes my day!**

**Anyway, see you all soon!**

**-LunaPikazard**


	5. Chapter5

**Hey hey hey, I'm back with more dialogues!**

**Sorry again for my massive hiatus, I haven't been in the place for writing recently. Also, my schoolwork is catching up to me and I have loads to do, so I'm kinda stressing out a little bit. **

**Anyway, y'all seem to be liking these, so yes I am back with more. **

**Also, I'm sorry, I probably should have clarified, but I might not include a dialogue if it has a non-canon ship in it, because I don't really want to include any dialogues that someone may be biased or prejudiced against in any way just because of a ship. I know that may just be petty but I have seen many fans like that in plenty of different fandoms and I used to be that kind of fan, so I don't want anyone to get hate towards them for one of the dialogues I use in this book. **

**So sorry to everyone who submitted dialogues with non-canon ships, but I probably won't include them. **

**Also, quick note about the dialogues: could y'all actually DM them to me instead of leaving them in the reviews, please? I know it's a bit more effort but if that's okay, then thanks. Also, I love all of you, and I have so many dialogues from you guys, so thank you all so much for all the ones you've sent in. I love you all. **

**Anyway, notices done, let's go!**

**1- The one with 'mom' (Internet)**

**Kai: ***any miscellaneous swear word*

**Jay: **mom, Kai's using foul language!

**Cole: **'mom' being?

**Zane: **position-wise...

**Zane: **probably me...

**2- The one with the phases (Nuppa Nuppa)**

**Jay: **tell me your worst phase!

**Lloyd: **when I was a brat

**Nya: **when I was a goth

**Cole: **dance school

**Kai: **when I thought I was the Green Ninja

**Zane: **when I froze an entire realm and caused massive amounts of suffering for thousands of people for decades

**Everyone:**

**Jay: **you need a hug...

**Pixal: *appears from nowhere* **I have been summoned-

**3- The one with love (TinyCat)**

**Kai: **isn't it weird how we're in love?

**Lloyd: **no, we're under 18

**Jay: **anything is possible in the realm of childhood!

**Cole: (from the next room over) **say that again and I was snap you like a glowstick!

**4- The one with Siri (my brother)**

**(The ninja are in a van-type car thing, with Zane driving, Cole in the front seat, Kai and Skylor in the middle and Jay and Nya in the back. I don't know what they're called)**

**Lloyd: (from in the trunk) **Hey Siri, how do I escape the trunk of a moving vehicle?

**5- The one with Garmadon not listening (AllThoseChickens)**

**Garmadon:** it's times like these that I wish I had listened to what my father told me...

**Lloyd: **what did he tell you?

**Garmadon: **I don't know, I wasn't listening

**Bonus! I feel generous today!**

**6- The one with the issues (my stepsister)**

**(The ninja are taking a road trip. Zane is driving, Pixal is in the front seat, Kai and Skylor are in the middle row and Cole, Jay and Nya are all in the back row. Lloyd is, once again, in the trunk. Fight me.)**

**Kai and Cole: (annoying the shit out of Jay and Nya)**

**Jay: (to the tune of Issues by Julia Michaels, pointing at Kai) **you've got issues! **(Points at Cole) **he's got 'em too!

**7- The one with hot people and global warming (FluffyPug)**

**Nya: **guys are hot

**Jay: **girls are hot

**Kai: **why is everyone so hot?!

**Zane: **global warming

**I hope you all enjoyed these new dialogues, and yes that fourth one actually happened in my life, but there were only the six of us in the car including my brother in the boot, so we just had a normal car instead of that vehicle with the three sets of seats (basically the front, middle and back as well as a trunk). Also the sixth one is true as well, my stepsister got mad at her brother and his best friend on a car journey about two years ago and that's all I remember from that car journey, as well as Ed Sheeran's album Divide playing endlessly for hours before someone changed it to some other album which was even worse than listening to Ed Sheeran. That other album had Issues on it though, which is why that happened in my life...**

**Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this, and I am sorry again for the massive break in between updates. I aim to be able to get more of these out soon. **

**Until then, I'll see you all later!**

**Stay healthy, stay home, stay safe, stay alive!**

**-Panic1AtTheEverywhere**


	6. Chapter6

**Hi everyone! I'm back!**

**Not doing great tonight, so I thought I'd try to write some funny dialogues even though I'm supposed to update My Band, Shifting The Scales Of Balance and Running Wild before this...**

**Anyway, kinda in the middle of writer's block for those three and again, not feeling great so let's try to lighten it up shall we**

**Now, here is the new chapter of Attempts At Funny Dialogues!**

**1- The one with Kai being done with Asheera's sh*t**

**Aspheera: **what are you going to do? You don't have your powers anymore

**Kai: **you're right, I don't.

**Kai: *cocks gun***

**2- The one with Skylor yeeting Ultraviolet**

**Skylor in that one fight in Season 9: *sends UV flying backwards down the street***

**Lloyd: **we're still tHE GOOD GUYS-

**3- The one with the cinnamon rolls - not really a dialogue but I have to share this**

**Cole: **looks like he could kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll

**Lloyd: **looks like a cinnamon roll but could actually kill you

**Kai: **looks like he could kill you, and is actually gonna kill you

**Jay: **looks like a cinnamon roll, actually is a cinnamon roll

**Zane: **looks like a robot but is actually a Nindroid

**Pixal: **looks like she could kill you, but is actually a cinnamon roll

**Nya: **looks like a cinnamon roll, but could actually kill you

**Skylor: **looks like she could kill you and is actually gonna kill you

**Misako: **looks like a cinnamon roll, and is actually a cinnamon roll

**4- The one with the monster under the bed**

**Young Kai: **mum! There's a monster under my bed!

**Young Kai: **It's the most hideous thing I've ever seen!

**Young Nya: **why do you hate me, brother?

**5- The one with Lloyd and Jay trying to do stuff**

**Young Lloyd and Jay: *about to draw on Kai's face while he sleeps***

**Kai: **do anything and I swear to the First Spinjitzu Master I will kill you both

**Okay so I know these are crap but I'm bored and wanting to write so...**

**As I said, I'm gonna try to post more often but no promises yet**

**I have writer's block for Running Wild, StSoB and My Band at the moment, so take these I suppose **

**Anyway, thank you all again for your patience and I'll see y'all soon**

**Bye**

**-Panic1AtTheHere**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello again! **

**I have returned from the darkness that is my school life!**

**(My neighbour just keeps stomping backwards and forwards, it's half past eleven at night, what the fuck is she doing-)**

**I am very sorry for the long wait between these chapters but I'm back again now! **

**Anyway, life is shit so let's go!**

**1- The One With Turning Down For It**

**Jay: **Zane! Zane!

**Zane: **?

**Jay: **do you ever turn down for it?

**Zane: **turn down for what?

**Everyone else: (some dumb shit)**

**2- The One With Lloyd Being Pissed**

**Series Lloyd: **who are you?!

**Movie Lloyd: **I'm you, only more pissed off at my dad

**3- The One With The Creepshot**

**Lloyd: (via snapchat) (sends a photo of Kai walking along the path) **hi

**Kai: (runs to catch up to the bus) **not today motherfucker-

**4- The One With Waking Up**

**Nya: **wake me up-

**Lloyd: **before you go, go!

**Kai: **when September ends-

**Morro: **WAKE ME UP INSIDE!

**5- The One With Parents Loving Their Sons**

**Garmadon: **I love my son because hehas a gentle soul.

**Julian: **I love my son because he can tell the time just by listening to the wind.

**Ed: **I love my son because he is not afraid to fall in love.

**Lou: **I love my son because he hasn't tried to eat me in nearly a year.

**Okay so yeah I'm done now. **

**I hope I managed to make your day a little bit better with these.**

**I hope you're all doing okay, and that you all know I believe in you, you've made great progress and I'm so very proud of you all. **

**As always, don't be shy to comment or DM me, I love hearing from people who enjoy my stories and these dialogues!**

**For now though, I'm gonna go. **

**Thanks again for reading, and I'll see you all again soon!**

**-PanicAtTheHere**


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